Sorry about the lack of posts...
But your g is, once again, having a bit of a battle with anxiety.
Doing okay right now, the moments of calm are thicker and closer together, but it's still a little rough.
It's because of a boy of course. Well, not so much because of the boy, but my reaction to a boy. It's so frustrating really really liking someone, having butterflies, that feeling that I was talking about a while ago, only to have an anxiety attack about it and then just feel numb about him, and not know whether I've really stopped liking him, or whether it's all just buried under the fear.
It's tough, it makes me not want to see him, because thinking about him makes me anxious. I could ramble about this for hours today but I'm trying to stay calm before my trip to the shrink tonight. Wish me luck. (Hell, wish me some kind of mind altering experience so this shit just stops and I can go on to more butterflies and romantic kisses in the rain and so on and so forth.)
g
Doing okay right now, the moments of calm are thicker and closer together, but it's still a little rough.
It's because of a boy of course. Well, not so much because of the boy, but my reaction to a boy. It's so frustrating really really liking someone, having butterflies, that feeling that I was talking about a while ago, only to have an anxiety attack about it and then just feel numb about him, and not know whether I've really stopped liking him, or whether it's all just buried under the fear.
It's tough, it makes me not want to see him, because thinking about him makes me anxious. I could ramble about this for hours today but I'm trying to stay calm before my trip to the shrink tonight. Wish me luck. (Hell, wish me some kind of mind altering experience so this shit just stops and I can go on to more butterflies and romantic kisses in the rain and so on and so forth.)
g
posted by Girl at 11:36 am
5 Comments:
The uncertainty is understandable.. but the real test of your instinct [yes, i'm still going on about that] is when you get past that uncertainty.. take the bull by the horns, so to speak, meet up - without any agenda.. usual provisos - and see how you really feel.
Good luck, g
*kisses*
charon xox
It's so hard to see how I really feel through all this fear. It's the day after, and I had a fun night, but now I'm scared again.
OK.. You had a fun night. That's great!!
Now, try to think about what's making you scared.
Only you can work that one out.
If it's something other than the feeling you get from the real boy himself.. then it's not instinct.. it's the fear.
And that's really nothing to be afraid of.
*kisses*
charon xox
I'm just afraid that I don't like him 'enough', whatever that means. And at the same time I'm confused and scared because I liked him so much til I got the anxiety, so I don't know if it's just the anxiety that's made me stop liking him. It sucks.
g
'enough' for what, g? That's a question that's unanswerable..
Just enjoy being there.. and if you don't enjoy being there, don't be there. That's all that's needed. Try not to run ahead of where things are at. Have fun.. and enjoy the moment.
*kisses*
charon xox
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