Sunday, November 19, 2006

*squealing like a schoolgirl*

The full Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix teaser trailer, at YouTube (I would post it here but I keep getting a YouTube error when I try to do that. Stupid...something!)


(Even if it is dodgy filmed in a cinema stuff.)



Saturday, November 18, 2006


I just watched ten second teaser trailer for the next Harry Potter film. (Yes, I am one of those people.)





Friday, November 17, 2006

We got it sweet now, aint nothing calling, I'm at your feet now but girl, I'm still falling at ya!

Lordy, what a crazy night! Saw the Infadels, was good, saw (and met, briefly) the most gorgeous boy in the world. (Was also snubbed by him, clearly a homo.) Also saw my future wife, whom I have been stalking all semester (read: we had some classes together).

My brain cannot cope with the sheer volume of hotness I saw tonight.

Excuse me while I go to bed and a book. Yes. That's what I'll do.


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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Blogging about...the weather... (take two)

So I know talking about the weather is so passe, but if you are in Brisbane, look at this weather! It's fucking exciting!

It's like someone's taken a perfectly beautiful day and put it in a wind-tunnel.

Only a few little anecdotes from my journey to/from the psychiatrist. (yep, still crazy)

Sitting at traffic lights, watching the lights and the pole they're suspended on bounce up and down is fucking scary. Especially when you're about to drive your shiny, newly repaired car straight under them. (Please don't fall on me, I couldn't cope!)

Okay, only one anecdote then. I could blog about being a crazy person, but that's boring. And I need breakfast.

Besides, I'm sure you're all sick of long rambling posts!



Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Holy crap storm!

We just had a swirling, screeching sucking hailing maelstrom descend upon us here at g-central (haha the g-spot). It was actually quite frightening, what with being on the 12th floor and all, there were a few moments I was afraid the building was going to fall down!



Cause what you don't want is okay,'s nothing new to me...

So obviously yesterday it was harder to post than the day before, given that I didn't. Whoops!

Sorry kids- had work, and pretty much straight after work I went to a friend's place (The One Who Got Away, actually, although I'm changing my mind about that) to get drunk, watch Black Books, and play Trivial Pursuit.

Anyway, I didn't sleep too well on their cruddy futon, so I'm thinking I might crawl into bed now.



PS. I just got sad about lots of things. Stupid alcohol, and its stupid being a depressant!


Monday, November 13, 2006

Cause baby I can't change the way it is....

So today's the first day it's actually been difficult to post. Mostly because I seem to have hit the bad part of mania again, when I am incredibly irritable and filled with dislike for most everyone and everything. So this is going to be a short one.

Dinner with friends, I was too grumpy for it, so nothing much to report. I texted AFL, no reply yet, but I'm not going to stress too much- took him a couple of hours to reply the other day, so meh.

Funny, I was in a really good mood at work this afternoon, but then about five minutes from home, something just clicked, and I went grumpy. I don't know why. This uncontrollable mood thing scares me. It's not like I don't try to control it, sometimes I just can't... or I go to all the effort of dragging myself out of the grumps, but something tiny triggers me and I slide back in a heap. I don't know. I am going to stop rambling now, and go to bed.

Ciao kiddies,


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Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Anti-Climax... (hee!)

So after all that, we didn't actually have sex.

The gig was awesome, The Dukes of Windsor are hot, you should check them out! Great music, good looking boys... and the audience was super hot too- so if you are already a fan of the Dukes, you can rest assured that I probably think you are hot. It was almost painful, looking at all the beautiful indie boys and wondering why I had invited AFL. Indie boys are the best kind.

AFL and I danced a bit, my body pressed back against his. It was lovely, he was tall and warm and solid, his head occasionally bending to kiss or nuzzle my hair. We aren't casual or relaxed in our touching yet, so touching him, and having him touch me, is still fraught with nerves and excitement. Which is actually lovely. The heady rush of touching and being touched is still there- after all there's never touching better than the first few times you do it. He is lovely to touch...some quality in his skin and muscles, some nameless thing that I don't find with everybody... chemistry, I guess you'd call it- I still tingle when I touch him. Perhaps that's why I invited him, rather than trying to pick up some beautiful indie boy.

We went home after the concert ended and started to watch The Grudge with a couple of mates but I just wasn't in the moment. It was nice to be cuddled up on the couch, but the movie wasn't scaring me at all. Perhaps the first sign that I was a bit worn out- I couldn't suspend my mental chattering long enough to be afraid of the movie, like I usually can.

Got to bed, both of us torn- the possibility of sex was hanging in the air, mingling with our mutual tiredness, making everything a bit cloudy and confused. We half-heartedly started fooling around, even though I for one would have been content to just press myself naked against the length of him, and doze. He was kissing his way down my belly, with me watching him, but I wasn't responding how I should. It was almost mechanical, and he sensed it. He kissed my hipbone, and then looked up at me.

"Something just doesn't feel quite right tonight." I smiled inwardly, pleased that he'd seen it, pleased that he agreed.
"I was thinking exactly the same thing." I said something inane about how we shouldn't have sex just because we can, but wait until we want to. He nodded. Everything was lovely and relaxed, I wasn't stressed, and it took at least twenty minutes for the thought 'Maybe he just doesn't want to have sex with me?" to cross my mind, and I supressed it. So we slept.

I am also being crazy possessive about him, with no right to be so- some chicks (hot chicks!) he met at some function ran into us in the Valley last night, and literally begged him to go out drinking with them, while I stood and waited for him to finish chatting, I got all freaky and weird about it. Grrr! Also stalking chicks he knows on Myspace. Yes, I'm sad, my little adventures into creepy-stalker-girl-ness make me wonder if this thing is more trouble than it's worth. Or perhaps I just crave more from him than I'm currently getting.

I am honest to goodness not sure- I don't know if I would want to date him, if that was an option. I had considered discussing it with him last night but the topic never came up, and for the moment I am happy to let it rest. Go figure, letting thing happen as they will, maybe I have grown up a little bit lately?

So after all that musing, I've hit low again. I'm sure it will pass and it's only very mild, but you know it's never nice. I was reading a blog post over at pretty dumb things about how much she loves anal (I share this love) and it made me miss the ex a lot- despite all the problems, we had a lot of similar likes in bed, and there was the comfort of being always, always wanted, no matter what. Which I've never really had before. Got a bit frightened of never finding someone I love, even though I know that's ridiculous- and I didn't love the ex anyway. Unpleasant, but true.

As you may have seen in the last post, I am a little afraid that maybe I -can't- fall in love. Or perhaps, more specifically, that I can't fall in love with someone who is actually available to me. I have fallen in love, but that one, the one who got away, despite our brief 'interaction' was pretty much always un-available to me. Mope mope, angst, etc. *ahem*


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