The Hallween party was fun.
I am experiencing bizzare mental contrary-ness at the moment. Met a boy at the party, who I would not want to date, but I had a bit of a thing with (the chemistry was good!) and now my brain is being all funny about it despite me not liking him 'that way' at all!
I am all stressin out cause he didn't add me to his myspace or anything. (I know, I am having myspace related angst. Somebody should shoot me.) Here's the short version:
Current Stresses About The Boy (Who I Don't Actually Even Like Anyway, But Would Like to Have a Casual 'Thing' With)
1) He was on myspace yesterday (the last login date told me so) and totally didn't friend me, even though he is friends with my friend and nooo *wail*...
2) I was planning not to friend him. Cause that would be chasing, and I am not a chaser, yo!
3) I cracked and did so anyway. Cause, I am, in fact, apparently a chaser.
4) So now, I am totally sitting here constantly refreshing my myspace in the hope that he has accepted my friend request etc etc, (cause myspace tells me he's online) and left a comment, despite, aforementioned NOT ACTUALLY LIKING HIM!
5) Continued madness- he left a comment on the myspace of this girl he mentioned, while he was online, but didn't friend me. Farking hell! I quit, shoot me!
GAWD, brain chemistry is stupid, yo!
*shoots self in head*
Now the long version:
He's a friend of a friend- as soon as he got there a few of the girls at the party took their turns picking him up. I thought about it, but with all the competition and all, I opted out- I hate to chase, especially if I'm not
that keen.
Of course, given that he was one of the only single boys there (that I was even slightly keen on) after he passed over all the other girls I got curious (and competitive!) and decided to have a go. I had chatted to him a few times through the night, testing the waters, but he had not seemed all that receptive (or very interesting) and a few of the girls at the party had decided he was gay.
So I say to my mates 'Alright, this is his
lastchance, if he doesn't respond now, I am SO going out to get laid elsewhere!' (I was kind of randy, ok?) Went out on the balcony to talk to him, he responded well enough, we chatted, he asked for my number, said he had to go to another party (he had promised to go back, he left it to come to ours and stayed longer than he said he would) so I was like 'Yep, alright.' So the party continues for an hour or so, I waltz about, he calls and asks if it's worth coming back. (cue me, affronted at such a stupid question) He returns, party slows down, him and I end up on the couch together, chatting with other people and the like.
*cue hours (more likely minutes) of wishing he would stop talking, and maybe just make out with me, cause you know those hormones are giving me trouble, and he's warm, male, and there, plus it's dark so I can't really see his face, and he's got a nice body okay?*
Anyway, to cut a long story short, we slept on the couch together (there was somebody in my bed) and ended up making out and the chemistry was excellent. This of course, did not prevent me from continuing to think that he was a bit of a twat, and possibly a manwhore to boot. (I hate them manwhores, eh.) Anyway, he hung around the next day with us til like five pm (even though I kinda wanted him to bugger off in the morning, except then we wouldn't have had hot makeouts on my bed later) and he said he'd msg me so I had his number, etc blah di blah di blah. (This is rapidly turning into the longest, ramblingest post ever.)
The intensity of this feeling, and the obsessive thinking type stuff is frightening- is it normally like this? Is it like this for normal people (ie. non bipolar people?)? I would be more accepting of it if I had you know,
liked him as a person, but this is a bit ridiculous. I know my fondness for good chemistry has gotten me into trouble before (see Voldemort, the ex who shall not be named) but gawd. This whole bipolar thing is a little frightening- is this just mania? Or are these feelings 'normal'... whatever that means? Or is it just rebound...I hear you can get some pretty intense stuff for completely inappropriate rebound, what do you reckon guys?
Also, in case you were wondering, I don't want to date this boy...maybe just have some kind of nice 'arrangement' with him, y'know... casual sex buddies would be excellent!
g
PLUS! I just looked at pictures from my ex's halloween party, held sat night, and it was much huger than mine, and some friends of ours who didn't go to mine went to his, so now I am having massive party inferiority complex. GAH!
Labels: boys, brain stuff, exes, parties
